


Tenacious

by kingofquietstars



Series: Love? Love! [3]
Category: The CiviliTy of Albert Cashier - Stevens & Wooden/Deratany
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Canon Trans Character, Comfort, Cuddling, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Musicals, Play Fighting, coac, jeffrey in sweaters is my fav
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 09:19:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofquietstars/pseuds/kingofquietstars
Summary: Albert and Jeffrey try to navigate their relationship around other people.





	Tenacious

**Tenacious- _adjective_ tending to keep a firm hold of something; clinging or adhering closely; not readily relinquishing a position, principle, or course of action; determined; persisting in existence; not easily dispelled.**

I heard the door slam and your bag drop in the doorway. You had just come back from your afternoon humanities class. I had stretched out on the couch that day to try to do a few of my readings but hadn’t really gotten anywhere. I wasn’t expecting you to come lay on top of me and crawl into my sweater, but I welcomed it anyway. You’d had a habit of doing this ever since the weather got cold, but this felt different. You were too quiet today, too still. Usually you were splayed out playfully underneath the sweater, trying to suck in as much warmth as possible and taking way too much pleasure in finding my most ticklish spots. Today, you just laid there, hiding your face in my chest with your fists gripping my t-shirt. I put down my politics book. I wasn’t getting anything done anyway. Whatever was going on with you was much more important.

“Hey,” I said, pressing my face into the top of your head.

“Hey,” I heard your muffled voice come through my sweater.

“You wanna tell me what’s up with you today? You’re awful quiet, even for you.” I wrapped my arms around your shoulders, holding you closer. You let out a long, sad sigh, like you were trying to hold yourself together. I felt your shoulders begin to shake underneath my hands. You pressed your face harder into my chest to ground yourself.

“They’re absolute assholes. All of them.” You start, finally able to keep your voice steady. “Going on about their goddamn Christian values and their fucking hypocritical morals. Trying to seem like they’re all high and mighty because they believe in God and it’s okay to hate some people because they think God tells them to and it’s bullshit, it’s all just bullshit.”

“Hey, hey,” I sat the both of us up and pulled my sweater back over your head so I could see your face. Your eyes were red and your face was damp. I had never seen you look so utterly defeated before and it broke my heart. I felt like crying right along with you. “You’ve heard this before, what happened this time? You’re always standing by what you believe in, no matter what, you never give in to anybody else. What’s got you so worked up now?”

“I don’t know, Jeff. I just…” You play with the sleeves of your shirt, not looking at me, trying to find the words. “It just wears on you, you know? And… and it’s different when it comes from people you trust. Not like they’re friends of anything, just, I expected more of them, I guess. They’re college kids, they’re in a cultural studies class, they’re not Bible thumpers or anything. They were supposed to be different from everyone back home.” Your shoulders slumped forward, exhausted and defeated. “I shouldn’t have ever gotten my hopes up.” I didn’t say anything, just hummed into your hair while I pulled you close to me again. We stayed like that for a while, curled around each other. You never talked much about home. I’d only gotten snippets of the story here and there. I suppose we weren’t at that point yet. You’d built lots of walls to keep yourself safe over the years, defending yourself with fists and rage, you put on a tough face so nobody would ever see how much life hurt sometimes. But I’d gathered enough to know you weren’t keen on going home, and that was putting it lightly. Home wasn’t really home for you anymore.

“I know something that might make you feel better.” I muttered quietly to you once I noticed your body start to relax against mine, your head tucked comfortably against my shoulder.

“What?” You whispered back sleepily.

“I turned my shirt pink today.” I could feel us break out into identical grins at the same time.

“How?” You drew out the word, whining and laughing as you pushed me back to lay on the couch again. You propped your chin in my chest to look me in the eyes. Yours were brighter than they were a few minutes ago, affectionately imagining me pulling out my laundry to find my only dress shirt suddenly dyed light pink. I shrugged and made a confused noise, truly having no idea how I’d done it this time. You balled your hands in my sweater again and quietly screamed into my chest. You came up laughing with a bit of the sweater’s texture still indented in your skin. “You’re ridiculous!”

“You’re ridiculous!” Comebacks weren’t my strong suit, but I distracted you from it by wrapping my arms around your head and rolling both of us off the couch. You shrieked as the two of us went tumbling to the floor in a fit of giggles and flailing limbs half-attempting to wrestle. We scuffled playfully on the floor for a few minutes before I heard my alarm go off. I picked my phone up off the table and read the notification that had popped up for “Fancy Thing in 1 hour”. I sobered up considerably at that point. My department at school always had a winter formal dinner dance gala event thing for upperclassmen every year and even though it wasn’t exactly mandatory, we still had to go to it. I had asked if you wanted to go with me a couple weeks earlier and you’d agreed, but I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to go tonight considering your class earlier.

“It’s uh, it’s time to get ready to that fancy politics department thing tonight, but you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, I’d understand, considering all the stuff that happened earlier and I hope you’d come but if you don’t want to, that’s fine, too, it doesn’t matter to me if that’s what’s best–”

“Jeffrey,” You stop my anxious rambling. “Of course I’ll still go. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“You sure?” I asked, still afraid that you might decide to back out.

“Absolutely. Gotta decide who I’m voting for early.” You joked as we picked ourselves up off the floor. We went our separate ways and I knocked on your door a few minutes later to ask for help with my bow tie. I could never quite get the hang of it, and even when I managed to make a knot, yours always looked better.

You pulled me onto your bed quietly and you sat down facing me. I was so much taller than you, it was hard for you to reach up to tie the knot comfortably when we were standing. Our knees brushed lightly against each other as we sat cross-legged and barefoot on your bed. Your fingers moved expertly around the fabric, almost but not quite touching my neck as you worked the knot into the perfect shape. I couldn’t help but grin at your fiercely concentrated expression, brow furrowed and tongue sticking out from between your teeth just a little bit. I loved these little moments sitting quietly together. It felt like the whole world stood still for just a minute. Everything loud and fast inside my head went quiet and I was floating on air while you tied my tie for me. You straightened the bow tie out just a little bit, patted my shoulders, and kissed me quickly before standing up to get your tie from the back of your chair.

“You’re damn lucky you look good in pastels.” Even after all this time, I still blushed as furiously as I did after the first time you called pretty. You smirked at me as you buttoned the last few buttons of your shirt over your binder and began to work at your own tie. I picked my jacket up off the bed where I had laid it and threw you your vest, and soon we were ready to head out.

“Aw, you guys are adorable.” Walter said as we came down the hallway together. He and Billy were sprawled out in the living room watching their first round of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation for the season. “I feel like a proud dad.”

“Have fun tonight. But not too much fun.” Billy squeaked and poked his curly head out of the blanket nest he had constructed around himself. “I want to be able to sleep at some point tonight.”

“Oh, shut up and watch your movie. It isn’t that kind of party.” I shot back at him as the two of us walked out of the house. We had decided we could walk over since the building wasn’t that far away, but everything seems much further apart when it’s cold, so we ran. You kept up with me the whole way, and you held my hand firmly as we ran so you wouldn’t lose me. Our feet pounded hard against the sidewalk and the cold, winter air bit at our faces as we ran hand in hand to the dinner. Once we got inside, we stood panting triumphantly and let the red wash out of our cheeks before going in.

I felt our hands subconsciously slip away from each other as we faced the full room of poli-sci students, professors, and bureaucrats. They were a stiff, conservative bunch whose presence made the air in the room feel immediately tense. Every event with these people was a game, making the right moves and the right connections to stay on everyone’s good side. Worse yet, I knew a few of them had been in your class earlier, and neither of us was keen to meet them and start up that debate again. We slowly began to tread through the sea of people, almost but never quite touching each other, just as your fingers had ghosted across my neck as you tied my bow tie earlier. Life was a dance, and we had learned all the steps. I wished I could have reached out to you as easily as all the other boys did, affectionately grasping their girlfriends’ hands, or warmly touching the smalls of their backs. It was effortless for them, something they never even thought twice about. It was different for us.

I perked up a bit when I spotted the towering figure of Collins weaving through the crowd. Of course he would be here, being the poli-sci advisor. I gestured to you to come follow me and I quickly dove between people until we landed at his feet.

“Collins!” I yelped. “Collins, you’re here!”

“Unfortunately,” Collins took a swig of his drink, maybe to try to push away the memories of the dinner already forming in his mind. “But the school pays me to promote this, so I’m having a fantastic time if anybody asks.”

“Collins, this is Albert.” I gestured to you, genuinely excited for Collins to meet you. I softened as I said the next words, still new and exciting and unbelievable to me. “My boyfriend.”

“Ah, Albert. I’ve heard a lot about you. Maybe a little too much.” Collins shot me a good-humored side-eye as he reached out to shake your hand. “Hey, you seem to have some pull with Jeffrey, you should try to get him to come to my office for something other than gossip sometime.”

“I make no promises but I’ll try,” You chuckled back. “From what I heard it sounds like at least one of those gossip sessions did us some good.”

“That it did. Jeff’s got nothing but good things to say. You’ve got yourself a good one there, Albert.” I couldn’t help but dip my head and try to hide how big I was smiling. Collins was full of biting sarcasm at the best of times, so his compliments were all the more sincere. Our hands cautiously gravitated towards each other, until our fingers tangled together and you gripped my hand just as you had when we ran over here. The sick knot in my stomach settled, and a soft smile came over your face. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see the head of the department coming this way and I’m not up for another discussion with her about… anything.” Collins clapped me on the back as he disappeared back into the crowd.

The rest of our evening was much more relaxed. I talked with all sorts of different professors and important people to the college, and made sure to enthusiastically introduce you to each one. You never let go of me the whole night, not once. When you felt tense glances thrown our way, or you saw uncomfortable stares out of the corner of your eye, you just held on tighter and I did, too. To hell with the game. To hell with the dance. All these stuck up poli-sci kids and government networkers wouldn’t make me stop loving you. You wouldn’t just disappear because they were shocked to see two boys holding hands. You held on. You let them all know you were here to stay.

We trekked back to the house that night slower than we had arrived, unbothered by the cold now. I had my arm slung over your shoulders and you wrapped your arm around my waist under my jacket for warmth.

“I’m glad you came, Albert.” I said as we meandered across the quad.

“I’m glad you invited me.” You leaned your head into my side as we walked. Snow flurries had gently begun to fall and collect in the grass and I blinked a few out of my eyelashes. I thought for a while. Not about anything in particular, just life. I broke the silence after a few more steps.

“Albert, do you want to come spend Christmas with me?” I asked. I felt you straighten up and look at me with shock.

“Really? Are you sure?” Your eyes began to light up with the hope that maybe you wouldn’t have to go back to your hometown for Christmas, maybe you wouldn’t fight through another holiday.

“Of course I’m sure. You deserve a good Christmas. A good home,” I added a bit more quietly. “All the kids would be glad to see you, and my mom would love you. Dad, too. Mom’s been asking when I’m going to bring you around, and well… I don’t know. I’d feel lonely without you. It just wouldn’t feel right anymore.”

“Thank you, Jeffrey.” You whispered, leaning against me once again. Your arm gripped me tighter. You clung to me the whole way back, not willing to let me go easily. You only loosened your grip on me once we made it home.


End file.
